The Rose Reckoner


The Rose Reckoner

Bachelor(ette) Fantasy Leagues Rose Buddies Style

Currently: The Bachelorette Season 13


The Rose Reckoner

Currently: Bachelorette 13

The Rose Reckoner Charity Drive

Hi! I hope you've had a good time using the Rose Reckoner this season. I know that running the site has, as always, been a blast. You know what wasn't a blast? Watching the producers entertain toxic, racist, and cynical messages. Rachel Lindsay is my favorite Bachelorette, but as the season winds down, I have to acknowledge that there were moments that made me feel I shouldn't be supporting this show. At this point, it almost seems necessary to do something compensatory, so I'm running a charity drive!

You might donate to show your own enthusiasm for the site, or to encourage me to keep it running, or if you are yourself looking for a way to make some good come of viewing a show that you're conflicted about. For whatever reason, I would really appreciate you taking part in this charity campaign. However, please don't feel obligated to donate. I plan to continue running the site for the forseeable future, no matter how the drive goes.

Charity Drive Details

I've set up links for two crowdfunding campaigns through CrowdRise, which handles all of the financials and processing: None of the money passes through me. The drive starts now and ends on August 15th. I picked these dates so that you can do a stats-based pledge and then donate after the show ends.

  • SPLC - an organization that fights bigotry and hate. Charity Drive Link
  • SafePlace - an organization that supports those affected by domestic violence, sexual assault, and sexual exploitation. Charity Drive Link
CrowdRise seems like a very reputable organization, but they do take a 6% processing fee. As such, I will personally donate 6% of the total raised (up to a personal donation of $1000) so that your full donation amount goes to charity.

Suggested Fixed Donations

In the spirit of the Rose Reckoner, I've come up with some levels based on stats on the show. These stats are already complete, so you can donate now if you'd like! There are also some pledge levels below if you want to put some skin in the game for the finale.

The Fuck Lee Level: Lee Garrett made 108 points while spewing racist bile during his far-too-long tenure on the show. Feel that pain just a little bit more by donating $0.10 for each of his points for a grand total of $10.8.

The I Don't Even Watch the Show Level: I don't understand you, but by God I respect you. Let's call it $15, I guess?

The Moral Offset Level: Here's a super-rough estimate of how much money you made for the show: in Season 19 (the most recent I could find), the Bachelor made $187.3 million in ad revenue over 8.2 million viewers. So you give ~$22.8 dollars to some real jerks by watching the whole season. Give $22.8 to charity to offset that.

The Just Here to Find Love Level: There have been a combined 37 dates this season (solo dates, group dates, 2-on-1 dates). At $1 per date, this comes out to $37 dollars.

Pledge Levels

Here's the idea: you commit now (in your heart, not on the website) to donate a certain amount based on a stat that hasn't been (fully) recorded yet, then make your donation after the finale.

The Absentee Host Level: Pledge per second that Chris Harrison is on screen in the finale proper. Sounds like a lot? It's probably not. Even at $0.05 per second at an unheard-of 10 full minutes, that would only be $30.
If you pledged $ per second
I recorded seconds in the finale, so
you would donate ???

The Lifelong Partner Pledge Level: Pledge for each point scored this season by whoever wins the season. With Peter at ~300 points and a likely frontrunner, that's probably about $40 at $0.10 per point.

If you pledged $ per point,
the winner ended with grand total points
you would donate ???

The Bessame Pledge Level: Pledge for each kissing scene this season. With 85 kisses so far and more sure to come, you're looking at ~$50 at $0.50 per kissing scene.

If you pledged $ per kiss,
there were kisses in the finale
plus the kisses so far
you would donate ???

The Swear Jar Pledge Level Pledge for each time this season that a contestant swears (1 per scene) . With 61 such scenes already, you're looking at like $70 at $1 per swear.

If you pledged $ per swear,
contestants swore times in the finale
plus the swears so far
you would donate ???

The Final Rose Pledge Level: Pledge for each point scored in the finale by ANY finalist. Last season's finale had about 180 points. Could be more since there are 3 finalists this time, but roughly $90 at $0.50 per point.

If you pledged $ per point,
the contestants collectively earned points in the finale
you would donate ???

Again, if these levels don't appeal to you, feel free to make up your own level or adjust the amount. Note that the scores will be based on my personal judgements. Don't take it too seriously, and let's try to have some fun with this!